Time to say goodbye - to fat and wrinkles :)

Finally - I am on my way to the beauty farm in Denmark :) Oh dear, and it is so necessary :)
I am so glad that I won't have to do completely without my little fat friend :)
Have a great time my friends and see you soon, young, beautiful and slim again (I wish :)



xo kb

Lesbian hair dressing

Our dear friend Mr.Gooch Charles sent out a heartbreaking cry for help on Veraspeaks # 281 - He desperately and - if I may say so -obviously needs some fashion advice for a new haircut and asked the audience if he should go for a Caesar's cut.





Good Lord, NO! Thank goodness and as everybody knows, there are no better hairdressers than Lesbian hairdressers and thanks to years and years of single-handedly shaving and styling my sheep I dare say that I am more than qualified to help!

What you need Mr. Gooch is not a Caesar's salad. What you need is the most fashionable & chic hairstyle of the season, "The Electric Beaver"!

Who needs an iphone to live it up?!

...and I thought Captain Kiwi was a vegetarian

Oh, the Horrah!! Let's only hope the vegan patron saint of podcasting won't ever see this.

Ay Captain!!!

I knew that The Captain was in advertisement but I thought he was on the creative side. Of course he is but he has never told us that he is a New Zealandwide famous model for beauty products. Imagine my surprise when I found this ad browsing through the free New Zealandian magazines at Vága Floghavn the International Airport of Tórshavn (FAE) on my way to Denmark. Being immediate neighbors the Faroes and New Zealand are closely connected and a lot of people commute back and forth on a daily basis.

I had to share this instantly with you on this last minute blog before I have to shut down the engine before boarding. Wish me safe travels and a hot mud bath my darlings - and now we know why Nigel is so happy on that picture :)

Great Job, Ramble :)

You are my most favorite redhead :)



Meee Meeee Meee! LOL xo kb

Breaking Wind News!!!

Now look what I just have found out! Guess who will be sitting in the bubbling mud bath at "Kegel Camp" - how my friend LurryDean calls it so fondly on Twitter - right next to me? Exactly, Her Royal Highness Queen Margrethe II. of Denmark herself! Who is envious now? :)

Isn't it amazing how all Queens of the world somehow look the same? :)

Oh I can't wait. She is a dear friend of mine and she loves to gossip. Of course, you can't tell her a secret, because she natters and chitta-chats all day long spreading word and rumor just like the half digested little pieces of ham she spits into your eye when she talks. But I love her. I can't help it. Oh, and I love her because she is fatter than yours truely :)


Oh, I'm late... have to sit on my suitcases to close them -


Love you all!

Royal kisses

kb

Little Aussie Beauty Aid

Thank you Scotty for all the great and useful beauty tips and tricks you had on your last show. I am so glad you did not podfad. I think you are a great guy with lots of wits and courage enough to admit that you actually do something for your wrinkled face. I know for sure that many of the podcasting crowd do so clandestinely - and those who don't probably should -

Lots of love from the mud bad!!!!



xo kb

Mud Wrestling With The Beaver

As you may have heard my nasty cousin disclosed on BigFattyOnline without authorisation my plans to leave for Denmark (an adjacency to New Zealand's Northern Island) next week.

It is true, I am preparing a trip to Denmark, but I will not stay at the Royal Betty Fart Fat Facility in Kopenhagen. No, I will stay at a small and very exclusive little institution for the Attaining and Maintaining A Positive Lesbian Self-Identity. Mud bathing, sweat lodging, kegeling and learning how to read the future in bird droppings will help to find and focus on that slim and wonderful person deep inside of me.

The above picture is from my last workshop there in 2007. It was a worthy and wonderful experience, but big fat hell to get that mud out of every nook and crevice of my system. I was itching for weeks after that.

So guys, please - no more cheap jokes about fat lesbians in mud baths diving for that lost Birkenstock, m'kay?!



xo kb


PS: In observance of their very strict camp rules no mobiles, internet devices or electricity are allowed to be used there apart from the mud bath heater. So the The Lodge will be on a health hiatus for some time -


Love you all


xo kb

BoyToys

Good Lord, I was just surfing a little bit on one of the websites people talked about at pride 48 last weekend named "GuysWithIphones" because rumor had it that there were several members of the podcasting crowd who have posted their pictures there - and look whom I have found :)

Good gracious, Lurry, haven't I always said that you are hot? I had no idea how hot!!!! And I mean this purely scientifically of course :) Unfortunately I can't see your device properly because your hand hides it, but I assume it is a 3G-XL?

I wonder if there is a DykesWithIphones, too?! I have to goggle it again, but probably not. All I have found so far is BirkenstockBitches but I'm afraid that's something different and of course completely inappropriate.

Fat on wheels!

Daniel revealed on his Poopapalooza DI 050 that BigFatty has bought himself an RV and he affectionately calls it SLOW - sling on wheels.

I love the ATM machine and the revolving door to the sling module - Ventura, here he comes!!!

Where the F*CK are the Faroe Islands?!

Good Lord, children! Haven't you learned anything in school? Smoking on the toilet and sniffing glue won't help you find the Beaver Lodge - so for your information (and with you I mean Big Fatty) here are my beautiful Faroe Islands -

and yes, Daniel Beaver is right, I can see Arthur from my front porch - and he is delicious!

Auntie Vera's most embarrassing moments

I just have listened to Auntie Vera's latest show 227 and I am still deeply touched. This is not the moment for cheap jokes, people!

Vera told us in this show how she had an embarrassing accident at her workplace. Thank goodness she is fine and nothing is damaged - apart from her pride maybe. When she fell off her chair she lost her favorite basecap revealing her bald head in front of her semi-famous co-workers - who at once started laughing at her! How cruel is that?! Poor Vera, being clumsy myself - I constantly fall, bump or stumble wherever I am - I can feel her pain. She never has exposed her baldness to her co-workers and I understand this completely. Poor thing...

So, having in mind her being advanced in years, I immediately got her a security basecap and sent it to her.

Just in case you want to send her a little something, too to make her feel better here is the address:

P.O. Box 561
Woodland Hills, CA 91365



I cannot understand how this "friend" could laugh at Vera, who possbily injured and lying helpless on that floor was moaning in pain. She could have broken a hip!

Ok, he may have been a Red Shirt in Star Trek but if memory serves me right he appeared just for 17 seconds and jumped immediately not very elegantly into the jetwash of a rocket engine. And puff - exit red shirt... So, honey - don't laugh at my Auntie, how ever semi-famous you may or may not be!!!!




grrr... kb

Miss WONDER WOMAN 2.0 - revisited

Good Lord - silly me. I accidentally posted an OLD OLD OLD picture of Miss Wonder Woman - pre work out and - pre bbq Diet - it works!.

Miss Wes was friendly enough to send me a very recent picture of her in her Wonder Woman outfit, and I must say - WOW! She is hot!

Ok, please excuse me, I have to go to the TARGETS (of course the Faroese Version of it, the SAMKEYP) to get my BBQ supply for this week! Oh, I can already feel the pounds dropping :)

Thanks Wes, you are an inspiration to us all!



xo kb

I miss you pride48 - 09

Wow - what a weekend! The pride48 project was a huge success and I really loved it. So many podcasters, so many talents, so many great and wonderful people!!!
Thanks to all of you who created this event for us. Thank you for all the work and effort you put into this doubtlessly most amazing internet project so far.

I can't wait for the next pride48!



Proud kisses


xo kb


PS: If you have enjoyed the pride48 like I have, why not share the love and donate them a few bucks to help them pay for the software, webspace, bandwidth. live streaming and so on? There is a paypal button for safe and secure and proud payment!

Cpt. Kiwi saves the day (from tomorrow)

Oh Lord - we keep learning new things again and again on pride48!!! Our learned friend Arthur just revealed his secret passion for spandex! Arthur, you are not only brainy as hell - you are hoooooooooooot :)

Miss WONDER WOMAN 2.0

I really love pride48. Our podcasting friends chat and talk and tell us the most interesting things. Super Hottie BBQ Wes for example revealed how he surprises his gentlemen callers - wow! I hear his LASSO OF TRUTH is very popular!

Pride 48

This is one of the greatest and best events so far. Pride 48 is so much fun. Thank you guys for all the good work. Let me mention one of all the tech guys who set this up, the very eager and industrious Daniel Brewer who restlessly works and helps day and night. He is a genius and loves to spoon.

There is also a chatroom so you can join the fun actively!

Cu there

xo kb

My Big Fat Cat

Haven't you wondered, too why Big Fatty told us NOT to send him kitty pictures anymore?! We all know that he loves the kitties and honestly you don't have to be a lesbian to love pussies.

Isn't it obvious? Of course because he already is the proud owner of the world's fattest cat and he does not appreciate getting pictures of other felines, because his little darling gets all upset and jealous - and you don't want to mess with those claws :)

Isn't it amazing how pets always take after their owners - or vice versa? :) You just HAVE to love them both - and now we know why he always says "Welcome to the Cat Cave"

May the BIG FAT 4th B with U & The Beaver

What a week! Michael's gone (sob...) my favorite of Charlie's angels, too and the Blogger Death Star threatening to evaporate the Lodge!

Horrah - but thanks to all your support and to a very powerful secret wappon attached to the x-wing-beaver-fighter Mr. DeathStar-I-think-your-blog-is-crap-Blogger removed the dashboard lock & warning! Woo Hoo!!! They should have known how difficult it is to get rid of SPAM, especially if it is lesbian spam (spam Big Fatty, not SPERM - you really need to have that hearing aid checked, darling :)






Thanks again to all the wonderful people who have shown me love and support :)

You are fantastic!!!



A very happy Beaver

xo kb

The Scandinavian Kim Quixote

Why the quest against The Bad Blogger might fail...



If there is anyone out there who can read IKEA manuals, please call the Beaver!




xo kb

Don't mess with the BEAVER!

Thank you my true and worthy friends and comrades - your good words of encouragement and spirit have ignited and aroused the Beaver big time (probably a first for most of you hehe :)

What a great idea to shut down a lesbian blog on Pride Weekend - and to their historical misfortune it is that time of the month right now...

No, no ma'am - no sir'ee.

I'll sue!

Now it is official!

Well, I guess you always knew it. The Lodge fulfills now officially all criteria to qualify as spam. Useless information making no sense only clogging the intertubes and violating blogger terms. I just was informed that unless the Lodge withstands a very - and I say a very strict inspection by blogger themselves, it will be deleted and kicked out of cyberspace into oblivion. Yes I know this is what most of you secretly have wished for since all this beaver shit started. But hey, it is just fun - and I have never said it will be valuable, educating or even funny?!

I feel so good. Being officially labeled as spam makes me kinda proud. Now I am in the same league as the Fat One - or lo and behold - even the almighty podfather Archerr himself!


Just in case I will be blasted off the plate by the Blogger death star, let me just tell you how much I loved being with you. You are my friends. Thank you for everything.




Síggjast xo kb

New hairdo

On today's show archerr tells us that the same "nice little Asian lady" that does his mother's hair made him this wonderful new hairdo! And I must say, she did a marvellous job. Archerr - you are a hottie!

Caught In The Act!

In Auntie Vera's World Nr. 272 we learn that our Woodland Hills friends had some problems last weekend with an undefined "oily stinky greasy patch" on the tyre of the luxurious rolling mansion.

Only thanks to Gooch's vigilance the culprit could be caught red-handed in flagrante delicto so to speak. Oh Lord, this is really horrible! I guess our Big Fat friend just felt a bit left out and wanted to show his need for attention and love in his so unique and special caveman way.

Vera, maybe you should invite him next time you go for a weekend trip with the trailer! If you heed Miss Wes' advice and leave all windows wide open it might actually be a funny experience :)

No - I don't eat no vegetables!

Maybe if we told The Plaid Monsterr that wine is actually made out of that green stuff....

The Bookworm-eaten Beaver

It is all Archerr's fault. He blogged about his gay bookclub and being a bookworm myself I thought, great idea and started reading again. They present a different book every month. May was fun "The Screwed-Up Life of Charlie the Second" by Drew Ferguson. I liked June "Band Fags" by Anthony Polito and I love July "Leave Myself Behind" by Bart Yates. I have read 50 pages now (I got it yesterday) and it is very promising. Poems seem to play a certain role in it and one is remarkable. It is the poem that gave the book its title. It is beautiful. Come on, join the fun - reading helps me a lot to forget the shit at the fish cannery.

Lost

One day I will not be
this soul, this flesh, this mind -
I'll melt into another form
and leave myself behind.

My name will quickly disappear: resolve itself
into a dew -
I'll feel no loss for anything
except the Me that knows of You.

Love you all

xo kb

What's red & hot & talks a lot?

Here's to one of our finest! RRH is not only a terrific guy he also does an interesting and important show. He is so famous for what he does (and because of his really really efficient self-promoting) that it isn't necessary to say more - if you haven't heard about the Ramble Redhead Show, you must live or lie under a stone! Go immediately and give it a listen. It is amazing!

Honestly, there isn't a show he does not support with his calls and input. There isn't a podcaster he hasn't promoted and introduced to us revealing very interesting things about his interview partners nobody knew before. And he also gets all the big fish in the business. I don't know how he does it but he gets them all.

The podosphere would not be the same without you Tom - and hey - you are totally hot!

Her secret is her smile

La signora Wessalisa è la ragazza la più popolare nella mondo di podcacciare. Tutti i uomi la desiderano! Perchè? È il sua sorriso misterioso.

Miss Wes is the most popular sweetheart in the world of podcasting. All men admire her. Why? It is her mysterious smile :) I wish I had those lips!

A Day In The Menopausal Life of BigFatty

Oh dear - have you heard BigFatty's blow out on his last late show? There is also a video - brace yourselves! And no knowledge of foreign languages necessary - you know, BigFatty does not speak the Mexicans :)

Vincent van Gooch

Did you know that Gooch's first name is Vincent? Yes, it is in honour of his great ancestor. I always thought he had a bit of a Dutch accent :) Goeden dag! Hoe gaat het met u?

Nathan OUTloud!

There is a new podcast out there called Nathan Outloud. Nathan was interviewed by our favorite red head Ramble. Nathan does remarkable interviews and tells us about his very active and interesting life.

A very valuable addition to the podosphere and it is amazing how professionally he does his shows. This is something you definitely don't want to miss. Oh, and I am told that Nathan has a very sexy and attractive voice, too. This always helps in gay podcasting :)

Thanks Ramble for discovering this new and exciting podcast!




xo kb

GOOCH WAS IN SHOW BUSINESS TOO

Auntie Vera posted another picture of the heavenly husband on their yacht sipping coffee. He is adorable, no doubt - but much more interesting is that frame on the wall next to the window. Closer investigations revealed another fascinating detail out of the illustrious life of our Woodland Hills superstars.

Did you know that GOOCH used to be in show business, too when he was young? Yes. he sang beautiful French chansons and already had his trademark hairstyle "La demoiselle d'Avignon". Boy, you know that you are famous when they name a hairstyle after you.





No, the "Pilgarlic" is not named after Vera, that's just an urban legend.


xo kb

Welcome to the kim botox' lodge

Mr. Brewer complained on his last show di049 that his picture on kbl 0603 was heavily photoshopped. He blamed me for superimposing his several chins to make fun of him. That was never my dubious intent!

However, I admit there were some alterations but they were done with love and in a caring way. Now after these serious accusations I have to post the original for you to understand why I thought it might be an act of friendship to help out Mother Nature with this one a little bit.


xo kb

This is a case for PETA-C!

Honestly, I think we ought to call PETA-C, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals & Consciousnesses.

Last weekend I was stalking Auntie Vera's garbage in Woodland Hills. I flew in especially for that occasion, you know, I am a true fan. As I was stalking our celebrity's garbage, reading her mail and invoices (oh dear 1500$ for beauty products only in the month of May 09) I had to find this!





When I listened to little Conscience as it cried and sobbed because it could not find its beloved pointer I was heartbroken. And have you heard how the poor little creature glued together five pencils to replace the lost treasure with his own pathetic infantile version of a pointer? I was all in tears and sobbing myself. But now I am devastated and stunned. I can only hope that it was a sad and terrible mistake, an accident that the precious object was thrown away.

Of course I picked it up and kept it. I am a stalker after all - and stalking the conscience of a celebrity is just as good as stalking the celebrity herself :)





xo kb

Who pooped?

Lol - Amerinz has discovered a funny site called "Who pooped?" Go and see yourself - it is hilarious :)

He has forgotten his toothbrush...

imagine that! And now he uses his finger to probe his cavities. Eeew. Let's hope he won't abuse Miss Wes' little brush.

For She's A Jolly Good Fellow!

One of our bestest and most wonderful stars out there in the podosphere celebrates her second year of podcasting!

I cannot find words to express the joy and insights, the fun and laughter, the inspiration and the love I have experienced listening to her excellent and beautiful shows. It is not only a pleasure, it is a very special treat, a highlight and something I really dearly love to profite from her wits and unique sense of humor.

Thank you Vera and Gooch and Conscience for enriching my life, for making me smile and cry and feel being a part of the wonderful lovie land you create for us.

You are just wonderful.


xo kb




PS: Honey, please get off your lazy ass and get yourself a P.O. Box so that we finally can send poor Conscience a new pointer. His sorrow is heartbreaking - and we all know who threw that damn pointer into the garbage - don't VE?

Awards and Truths

How nice and wonderful! We all heard that Daniel Beaver was awarded with The Eager Beaver of Sound 2009 for outstanding efforts and accomplishments for sound quality in podcasting.

This week the award was handed over to Daniel from no one less than Miss Wes herself at the Fat Cave. There couldn't have been a better and more suitable framing for this grand celebration.





Of course the tasteful interieur (that's Mexican for crappy IKEA furniture) shows us a little bit of the private life our beloved International Fat Celebritry. Did you notice that painting in the background? This gorgeous little fellow is - yes - nobody else than BigFatty at the sweet age of 10. I adore the artful frame and the neat colours. It is an original and if you take a closer look you can see something very revealing! This is the irrefutable proof that BigFatty is indeed older than Auntie Vera - much much older.


Oh Lord - I hope he tells me his secret, how he kept himself in such great condition. Probably there is a room much darker and much more secret than the sling room in the Fat Cave, where there is another painting on the wall. A much more horrifying painting...